painful roads

i hate that suffering is usually
a one-way street
when i hear our songs
on the radio
i clutch my chest
and struggle to breathe
while in some far distance
you hear it
and won't flinch
or even notice

each night
i lay in bed for hours
seeing te lights from outside
change on the walls
the beackbeat behind the thoughts
in my head thump
michael, michael, michael

i feel loneliest at night
when i know for certain
you are not
i picture you holding her
her head resting on your shoulder
as you both sleep

i'm afraid
this one-way street
is going to reach a dead end